get yourself free

There's nights I remember, which I'm sure you do not.

Of a summer, of a semester, of a freedom all talk.

In bathrooms & bedrooms & backyards, I tried.

Of whispers & touches & kisses goodbye.

(of the night it all changed, the only time I saw you cry)

Its funny now, as my mind drifts back;

The sweetest things you said was when your mind had gone black.

wah wah wah wah wah

To eat well in this country costs more than to eat unhealthy!

WTF CORN!

acting out sexually is all the rage these days

Sometimes I think these desires to just straight fuck randoms might come in handy someday.

It floats around in my head somewhat like this:

Everytime you fuck someone new, you learn something. Some little trick to put to use in your next sexual endeavor. Something to make (insert generic boys name) squirm with passion when you cross that line underneath the sheets.


I like to think this desire to spread myself around is natural.
Maybe I feel this way because when I meet the right person, I want to please them so well that they will never leave me!

I guess I just like to think that someday all these little snippets of sex will be the way to get someone to finally stick by my side. To make him just stay!


Maybe if I just keep learning...

hopefully, you make no mistake & will learn from what you've got to take

I just deactivated my facebook and couldn't be happier.

preview of a screening; flashback of a feeling

I'm taken back to a summer night

Sitting in a room stifled with heat & cigarette smoke.

Beer cans & inhibitions lining the perimeter

There was a collective sigh of boredom, followed by a scramble to fix it.

Fast forward to riding fast down the street,

A beautiful nights breeze renewing our lives with every breath.

It seemed like only seconds to get to that destination, but that feeling could last forever

Stumbling through the darkness of the woods, the lake finally appears

Clothes are torn off,

Reservations are left elsewhere

I distinctly remember floating on my back, staring up at a nearly full moon;

A feeling of complete fucking freedom flooding over my being;

Something only a decent amount of beer and friends can allow for.

A couple of drinks later, we emerge from our illegal haven.

Peddling quickly away at the sight of potential trouble,

I remember a glimpse of your panicked eyes;

That stolen look taught me so much.

you changed your name, but i'm sure you're still the same

It feels like im regressing once again.

Back to those nights where I would stay up far too late thinking about you. Thinking about every great time we had. The day we met, the first time we fooled around, waking up next to you in the late afternoon, and skipping all my classes just to lay with you for a little longer. To keep your smell closer to me, even if just for a little while. The night you kissed me and I just knew you meant it.

Now when I think about you I just feel such anger.

Anger, anger, anger!

Angry because you pretend I don't exist anymore. Angry because you wont validate my feelings, because you can't take the 15 seconds to text me back. Angry because you pretend like nothing happened and nothing is wrong.

& when you said those things to my friend, because you knew I would find out. How did you think that would make me feel? That tore me up.

& when he lays next to me, & our bodies twist like shoelaces, you still come to mind.
His hairy legs wrapped around mine, which are nothing like yours.
But his lack of caring for me, which is just like yours.



(I just wish I could forget you like you've forgotten me)